Mar 24

Quarantine Diaries Day Four


Sunday 22 March 2020


I invented a new dance today. I call it the Wizzle Woozle Wap! It consists of jogging on the spot and weeping at your own mediocrity. I think it could be the next Twist or Macarena or polio vaccine.


And speaking of vaccines, I read somewhere that scientists may be one step closer to finding a cure for Corona Virus. Apparently they have worked out a way to hurt its feelings. Science is pretty amazing when you think about it. And when you don’t think about it, that’s sport!


As I type this I know some asshole is already writing Corona Virus: The Musical! for next year’s comedy festival. Despair…