Here is a poem that a lovely young lady wrote for me on the back of one of my fliers, after seeing my show Freeloader, in Edinburgh. I think the last line was more to make it rhyme than as an accurate representation of the event.

James Hazelden
Sang in a cave
With his guitar
And was never paid
Came to the Fringe
Talked about man things
Killed koalas
Kept teeth
Punched a 7 year old
Offended God
And an alcoholic dog
With no shame
Trying to win his fame
He played his guitar
And became a star