Ad-dolt: Someone who is old enough to own a credit card but dumb enough to believe advertising.

Amuso: a musician who writes funny songs.

Cataloguing: when we have chopped down all the trees and have to start chopping down the cows.

Genteel: a chivalrous water snake.

Halloween: the greeting given to a baby who has just stopped drinking breast milk.

Mandate: when two guys can go out and a majority of the population approves.

Methane: how an English speaking caveman with a lisp attests to his state of mind.

National Trust: when your partner moves interstate for business and you assume they won’t cheat on you.

Pedagogue: to stare in disbelief at someone’s feet.

Platitude: something exhibited when a platypus gets all uppity.

Platitude (2): saying thank you when someone gives you a platypus.

Platitudor: a trite remark to a 16th century Englishman.

Plaititude: a seemingly original, but somehow empty compliment about someone’s new haircut.

Prattitude: A trite remark delivered in an offensive “Asian” voice, making the sayer look like an idiot.

Polygamist: someone who marries more than one parrot.

Sar-chasm: The awkward pause between someone making a joke and someone understanding a joke.

Sex drive: when a car mounts the curb